Recently on Twitter, an author was being bullied and asked for help in dealing with those bullies.
Another author decided that that person had not suffered enough (because she was a white woman) to be asking for help in dealing with her bullies. There were people out there who had suffered worse! She hadn’t received any death threats so she should just get over it.
Apparently, we are now comparing tragedies, bullying, and grief the way that men compare dick size! Sorry to be vulgar but this is how I saw the situation. It blew my mind! Is this how low we have sunk as a society?
Everything about this situation really bothered me. Not because I was a fan of either author and not even because of the racial aspect, but because of how dangerous the conversation was to those who truly need help for whatever reason.
Imagine someone who has been needing help but who was too afraid to ask. They see an author they admire ask for help in a very public way. And they think that if she has the guts to do this then I can ask for help too!
Then!!! They see this author called out and belittled! They were so close to asking for the help they needed but now they are afraid. What if people think they are weak? What if they think their struggles are trivial compared to others who may have it worse? Better not to say anything than to risk ridicule.
Let me tell you, my friend, there is always going to be someone who has it worse! That doesn’t negate your pain!
And yes, when things are rough we should acknowledge that there are others who are also going through trials and tribulations far worse than our own.
This acknowledgment can help put things in perspective but it doesn’t make the pain, hurt, grief or fear go away.
But seeking help or a shoulder to cry on can help. And no one can deny you that basic human need just because they don’t think you’ve suffered enough!
It’s a ridiculous notion!
If one person can declare that certain people can’t ask for help because other’s have it worse, then one person can stand up and call bull shit!
And thankfully more than one did!
It doesn’t matter if you’re as privileged as Kim Kardashian if you are hurt, scared, or in pain, you have a right to ask for help. You have a right to your grief.
There is no shame in it! We all have moments when we are weak and need a helping hand. We are all human!
And we need to stop looking at each other and just seeing race, gender, sexuality, abilities … we need to look at each other and see fellow human beings who need love and compassion.
The world and Twitter would be a better place if we did.