I consider myself to be the average female, so I think I can write with some good authority on things that we all wish men understood about us.
We don’t care if you think we’re attractive.
For some reason men think that every woman wants every man she comes in contact with to find her attractive. Sorry, but it’s not true. Most of us don’t care what you think. The only man I want to find me attractive is my boyfriend. And even when I was single, it wasn’t something in the forefront on my mind. I didn’t care if the men I worked with, the men at the grocery store, or the men at the park where I walked my dog gave me a second glance.
Now I’m not saying that telling me that I’m pretty is a horrible thing for some random man to do. At it’s best it flattering, and at it’s worst it’s annoying.
But no woman wants to hear from some random man that she’s hot, sexy, has a nice rack or ass, or other worse variations of these comments. We just don’t. You can think it if you want, we don’t want to know.
So the next time that you want to comment on a woman’s body or appearance, ask yourself this question, “Am I in a relationship with her?” If the answer is no, keep your comments to yourself.
Women don’t dress with men in mind. Most of the time
I assume that there are times that women dress up and go out to find a man. I say assume because my friends and I have never actually done this. I’ve only seen it on TV. Maybe it’s why I was single so long. But I digress.
If anything, women dress more for other women than men. Women love it when one of their friends finds their top/shoes/bag to be cute! Especially if you get to brag that you got it on sale.
The only man whose opinion I consider when getting dressed is Cap’s. And that’s only if we’re going on a date. For work, I dress in accordance with the store’s dress code . The rest of the time I dress for myself. I give more consideration to the weather than I do what other people are going to think of what I’m wearing. I dress to keep cool in the summer and warm in the winter.
So if I’m wearing a tank top and shorts, it’s because it’s hot out, not because I want someone to ogle or comment on my body. See the first point.
Setting is everything in approaching a woman
There are times that it’s ok to hit on a woman. Like, you know, if she’s out hoping to meet a man. I have no idea where one goes to do this, so don’t ask me.
But I can definitely tell you where not to hit on a woman.
Like, when she’s alone in a dark parking lot. It should be obvious, but if you were to approach me in such a situation, I will assume that you are a rapist or murderer. It’s just safer for me to do so. Maybe you are the greatest guy ever, but I don’t know that. And I’m much more concerned with my own safety, than if I bruise your fragile ego.
I also don’t want to be hit on at work. I remember helping a customer find a phone for his girlfriend’s birthday. He then starting asking me if I was seeing anyone, telling me I was cute, and that I had pretty eyes. It was annoying and made me very uncomfortable. Most men may think that I should have just been flattered, but I wasn’t. I was doing my job. What did my appearance or relationship status have to do with that? The answer is absolutely nothing. If he wanted to compliment me, thanking me for my help would’ve been enough.
We don’t want to be touched by random strangers. Ever.
I’ve been very lucky. I’ve never had a stranger try to touch me in an inappropriate way. But some of my friends have, and I’ve read many stories about it on the internet.
My body is my body, and no one has a right to touch it without my permission.
So, men, ask yourself that question again – “am I in relationship with this woman?” If the answer is no, don’t touch her. It’s that simple.
Smiling and being polite isn’t flirting
I work in retail, so it’s part of my job to smile and be polite to everyone. Flirting is the furthest thing from my mind when someone comes into my store. I just want to take care of my customers. If you ask the majority of women who work with the public, they will tell you the same thing.
And get this, sometimes women are nice and friendly, because that’s who they are, as people. They have no ulterior motive. They just believe in treating everyone nicely.
So, please don’t use my niceness as an excuse to hit on me. I don’t like it.
Learn to accept resting bitch face
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard that women hate being told to smile. I’m not entirely sure that I agree that this a “men trying to keep women down” issue. I think it’s more of an extrovert vs introvert thing. Which I may write about sometime.
Here’s the thing, no one likes being told how to feel. And it does happen to women more than men. And I admit that I’ve done it myself. However, I learned my lesson when I told someone to cheer up, and they replied that they’d just had a death in their family. I felt like a complete jerk, and I’ve never done that again.
Instead, if I think someone is down, I actually ask how they are. Sometimes there is a real reason that they are down and they appreciate someone taking the time to listen. And sometimes you find out that they are just fine. They just have resting bitch face.
I have it. My sister has it. Lot’s of women have it. Before I heard of resting bitch face, I just called it my thinking face. When I’m really concentrating on something I frown, even if what I’m thinking about is good.
So men, and extroverts everywhere, just need to accept that resting bitch face exists. I don’t have to smile for you. I don’t even realize that I’m not.
So, women what do you think? Is there something that you wish men understood about women? Men, why do you do the things that you do? Help me understand you.