I’ve never thought of my self as hot or sexy. Ever. It’s not like I haven’t heard these words before from various men in my life, but I just never believed them.
I always thought I was too much of a nerd, too geeky, to be sexy.
I admit that I’ve had body image issues. Who hasn’t? Even Jennifer Aniston got a nose job! But there were still times when I could look in the mirror and see that I was pretty. Maybe not everyday, but a lot. It became easier to see the pretty as I got older. I think it’s that way for most of us. I never saw the sexy though.
I’ve never been the type of girl who immediately turns heads when I walk in the room, but I get noticed. I’ve sat there while my friends got hit on and I was ignored. But I’ve also been hit on while they’ve been ignored.
I knew I was attractive. I have a good figure, even if my body isn’t perfectly toned. I had enough men/boys check me out to realize that. But that didn’t mean I was hot. That was reserved for the Megan Fox’s of the world, not me.
Even being in my 30’s and constantly being hit on by 20 year-old guys didn’t make me see it. I just wasn’t that girl.
Hollywood and the media has made us think that only one kind of girl/woman can be hot. It’s hard to get past that, to see that real life isn’t that way.
There are lots of men that I find sexy and their bodies aren’t perfect. Sometimes they aren’t even the best looking guy in the room, but I still think they’re hot. So, why should I feel that I have to be perfect to be hot? To be sexy?
The answer is, of course, that I don’t.
It’s not like being sexy is all about looks anyway. It’s everything – the whole package – that makes a person that way.
So, I’m going to embrace the sexy and believe it.
It took an old friend telling me that I’m sexy and that if the situation were different he’d be all over me.
It took a co-worker running me out of the backroom because I was too distracting to the guys that work back there.
It took a really hot 20 year old telling me I had that “sexy librarian vibe.”
But I believe it now. I can see it. And it feels good. Especially knowing that I’ve always been sexy simply by being myself.