My greatest hits: Facebook Edition

Posted September 13, 2013 by Paula in Blogging / 0 Comments

Occasionally, I can be funny. Who knew? Right?

Anyway, I wanted a nice and easy post, so I thought I would share some of my status updates from Facebook. These are the ones that got the most likes and comments. Hope that they at least give you a chuckle!

All these years I thought I was a Hufflepuff, but the Sorting Hat on Pottermore put me in Slytherin. Talk about a blow to my self-image.

It’s four o’clock in the morning and I’m eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and reading Harry Potter. Maybe the vampire life isn’t so bad after all.

I finally realized that my memory isn’t really bad. I remember everything! Just never when it is actually useful for me to remember it.

I realized that if my neighbors ever had to describe me to the cops, I would probably sound like a serial killer. “She was really quiet and kept to herself.”

Sitting here watching everyone put their tents together. Man, I really got this supervising thing down!

Someday I hope to be one of those people who actually learns from their mistakes. Obviously that day is not today.

So, I just had two people tell me not to be texting and walking at the same time. Do I not look more capable than that?

I looked out my window and almost had a panic attack because I couldn’t see my car. Turns out I just didn’t recognize it now that the rain has washed it clean.

Everyone in the orthodontist’s waiting room is on their cell phone. I wonder if they’re as grateful for the technology that keeps us from having to interact with one another as I am.

Why can’t I ever find matching socks? And don’t tell me it’s because I never sort them. I know that’s not it!

My new goal in life is to play a zombie on the Walking Dead and be killed by Daryl Dixon.

Trying to adjust to a world with no Twinkies. This wasn’t suppose to happen until AFTER the zombie apocalypse!

People. Can’t live with them. Can’t survive the apocalypse without a few slow ones around to distract the zombies.

Here are a few that my sister, Paige posted to me:

So, I think that the reason I am such a slacker is that, as a child my greatest ambition was to be the girl in the song “babys got her blue jeans on” and since that didn’t “come naturally”, I didn’t see the point in striving for anything else…

I wish I could do my eyeliner as good as rodrick heffley…

Watching the Golden Girls…Blanche said “just one dessert and the elastic in the legs of my panties cuts off my circulation”… I can relate!

So, when you need a quick and easy post, what do you write about? Also, what’s some of your greatest Facebook hits? Let me know in the commments!


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