How to gain respect at work. Especially from men.

Startup Stock Photos
Startup Stock Photos

I’ve been in the workforce for 15 years. Here are a few things that I’ve learned about gaining respect at work, especially from the men that I’ve worked with.

Keep the tears to yourself.

Women are emotional. We just are. And sometimes those emotions manifest in tears. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve broke down in tears at work before. It’s been rare but it has happened. Maybe the tears are from anger, sadness, or even happiness. My Aunt Joeldean cries whenever something makes her really happy. It doesn’t mean she is weak. It’s just part of who she is.

The tears I’m talking about are the ones of manipulation. Don’t use tears to get your way. It may work for the short term. But in the long term, it won’t win you any respect. Your boss will not appreciate being manipulated, and your co-workers will never take you seriously.

Know your shit.

You won’t know everything. And you’re not expected to, at least in the beginning of a new job. So recognize what you don’t know and do your research. Listen. Ask questions. Learn.

The people who come in with the attitude that they already know everything and refuse to do those things will fail. As women, we can’t afford to do that. We have to work three times as hard as men to be taken seriously. It sucks, but it’s the way things are. So, learn your shit, so that you can know your shit.

Know that you have to take care of yourself.

Don’t expect the men you work with to protect you. You’re their co-worker, not their wife, mother, or daughter. They will not fight your battles for you, and they won’t appreciate it if you expect them to do so.

I have to deal with unruly customers, male and female, all the time. I can’t call my male co-workers to deal with an unruly customer just because he’s male. It’s my job to deescalate the situation and deal with it.

Keep your private life private.

I don’t think people should be judged by how they live their lives. But the fact is that we are. Women much more so than men. If you want to post photos of yourself on Facebook partying and drinking, or in your bikini on the beach. Go for it! Just don’t friend your boss. You don’t want him or her thinking about those pictures when you come up for a promotion. The focus should always be on your work and what you bring to the company.

Know your place.

Which is right there at the table with those men. Women are told all the time that we need to lean in, and we do. We need to make our presence known. Don’t forget that. You’ve worked hard and earned you place. Know that! And make sure those men you work with know it to.

Blogging for a month: How I plan to do it


I’ve never blogged every day for a month without a meme being involved. It’s a new experience for me. With a meme you have a set topic for everyday of the month. They can be fun to do, but I don’t feel that they brought out the best in my writing.

So, this time I wanted to just write everyday. But it’s not that simple either. I don’t want to become overwhelmed and give up before the month is over, so I’ve had to do a lot of planning to make sure this month is a success.

Here is what I’m doing to help make my blogging commitment work:

Scheduling posts in advance

One thing I’m doing is scheduling all my posts. I do this all the time anyway, but my usual schedule is two posts a week, so this will be a lot more to manage. I plan to make Saturdays my scheduling day for the coming week. I think this will be better than trying to schedule the whole month at one time, especially when not all my posts are completed yet. It will also leave flexibility in case something comes up that I want to write about and publish immediately.

Creating theme days

While I haven’t planned what I am going to blog every single day, I have created theme days. This way I have days when I don’t even have to think about what I’m going to post. It takes a lot of the pressure off. Tuesday’s I will be doing the Top Ten Tuesday from The Broke and the Bookish. This will start next Tuesday. I’m also bringing back Fantasy Friday, Saturday Sharing, and Sunday Stealing.

Resurrecting old posts

I also decided to rerun some old posts. These are either posts that were popular and are still relevant, or that I have updated. This also takes some of the pressure off, because I have this huge fear of running out of ideas. What writer doesn’t?

Writing every day

Even though I may not be posting what I write the day I write it, I will still spend time writing everyday. It’s good habit I created in August and I want to keep it up.

Do you post everyday? Have you ever participated in a monthly blogging challenge? How did you do it? Share you tips in the comments!

Photo by: Ashley Ella Design

5 Commitments for September


Blog every day for a month

Writing every day in the month of August gave me the idea of posting every day for September. I’m really excited about it, and I hope it helps me develop a better schedule than my current twice a week posting.

Drink two bottles of water a day

I completely failed on this commitment, so it is rolling over to September. I have to break my Diet Mountain Dew addiction.

Make a shopping list

The no shopping commitment was one of the easier ones from August and it made me think about what I really need in my wardrobe. Which reminded me of the 5 piece French Wardrobe, in which you buy just five new pieces each season, this does not include basics like socks or t-shirts. So, I’m going to make a list of what I actually need in my wardrobe for this Fall/Winter season and then stick to it.

Walk Buffy everyday

I’ve been getting lax on this, because Buffy hates having to be on a leash. She walks really well on one but she won’t stay outside long when she has it on. But for both of us, I’m going to make her. We need the exercise.

Pack my lunch for work everyday

I do this now, but I’ve been in a bad habit of still buying snacks at work. So, I will pack my lunch and snacks, and that is all that I will eat at work. It will be healthier and save me money.

These were my five commitments for August and how I did:

  1. No shopping – Pass
  2. Drinking more water – Fail
  3. Wearing my retainer every night – Pass
  4. Participate in an Instagram photo challenge -Fail
  5. Write every day – Pass